Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
