I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
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