So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
