I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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