At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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