It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
