I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
