he wants to bone in the snuggie
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
