I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
