Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
