the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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