Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
