I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
