she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
