Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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