I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
