That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Randomize
