you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
