Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
