i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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