yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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