You made me cry and you don't even care
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
