She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
