i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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