it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
