is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
