Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
