i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
