Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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