So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
