I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
