I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
