i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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