The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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