My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
When are your genitals available?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
