I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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