last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
