He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
