If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
