u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
