i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
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