so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
don't judge my taste in strippers
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
