Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
