i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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