Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
