im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She's the barista slut.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
