It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You ate ashes out of my bong
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
