It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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