you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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