true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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