I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
