it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
