p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
